two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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