Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
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he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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