worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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