tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize