1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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