We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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