If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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