I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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