She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize