I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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