areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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