My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
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My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
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This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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