Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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