I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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