found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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