Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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