I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize