How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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