The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize