drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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