I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize