Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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