Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize