Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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