I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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