he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
