Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize