she's into porn, im staying here tonight
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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