so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
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So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
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I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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