I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize