Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
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I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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