it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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