im about as happy as oj after his trial
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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