it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
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