Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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