Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize