I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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