I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize