im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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