they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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