I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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