sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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