:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
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The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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