you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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