there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize