wat bout pragnant strippers??
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize