I wish I could teleport
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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