i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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