ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize