I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize